One guy fancied himself a stand-up comedian. Now Rio is not the brightest bulb in the box, but he figured out how to get power back to the city by using the old power station to generate hydroelectricity. Still, he's more than just rough around the edges. He has a lot of, well, let's say old-fashioned notions about girls & his attitude toward them. Hasn't made him too popular, as you can imagine.
Here's Rio's stand-up effort. It's an interesting commentary/perspective on the events that were happening at this time (fall 2010) in the game. In the annals of KTDARPG, it's definitely unique!
Amy: Next up is a guy you know even if you don't know him. Without this guy, you'd still be trying to find batteries for your cd player or cooking over a fire. Who am I talking about? Our very own Power Czar! Give it up for RIO everybody!
*Rio jumped on stage and snagged the mic off its stand.*
Rio: Hey! Fort River! I'm gonna tell ya a few things, things ya might not know but definitely should. How many of y'all read the raggedy newspaper this city puts out?
*Here 'n there shouts went up for the newspaper. Apparently a lot of Fort River's kids could actually read. Rio made a broad show of shaking out some papers and smoothing them against his chest.*
Rio: Oooo-kay, that's a surprise. In case some of you missed it, lessee what the latest rag put out there. Hey whaddaya know--this Quentin editor guy noticed StormRiver wasn't dry no more. Observant, ain't he? Wonder which clue got him--all the kids who got swept away in the current? Or the fact the minute the river was back, the power was runnin' again? And what kinda name is QUENTIN anyway? What the hell happened to good ole Bob? Anybody think mebbe this Quentin guy made some kinda raid on the paper and tossed out the old regime? *shrugs broadly* It all seems fishy ta me. *shakes out the paper some more* Aright, what else we got here. We got "fight night" and we got "angry girls" -- haha! Sounds like a party ta me! Any y'all been over to the fight club?
*This time the cheering was louder.*
Rio: Wooo, fans, huh? Cool. Jet knows how ta throw a helluva party. There's money ta be made if ya got the guts. I made a good haul myself last night--ya know the first guy up here, Thunder? He's also a helluva fighter! Watched him pummel two big bruisers and come out standin'. Now, about those angry girls, unfortunately we ain't talkin' about the fight club. Would be cool if we were, huh? But nooooo, we talkin' about misguided females still carryin' a torch for old Hellstorm. Yeh, yeh, he used ta pack the house--notice I said used ta? Cuz that boy just up and vanished on us all. Mebbe he could sing but he sure wasn't no kinda stand-up guy, walkin' out on his woman and all. See what this world brought us? Dudes like ole Hellstorm and his ilk--just wham bam thank-ya ma'am and they're outa here!
*A large contingent of former Hellstorm fans broke into some very loud boos that were quickly drowned out by others who agreed with Rio.*
"You got a lotta room to talk, man!" *A group of really tall, really big guys stood over from the stage drinking beer and shaking their heads.* "How many girls you shopped 'n dropped, huh? How many guys knocked you on your ass for disrespectin' their ladies?"
Rio: HEY! HEY!
*He swung the mic and got real close to the end of the stage staring straight at the group calling him out.*
Rio: No way--it sooo ain't like that. Ladies! Please! Any you who have had the pleasure of my company, please enlighten these gentlemen. Am I a gorilla? Am I disrespectful?
*Various laughing females shouted out.* "Hell no!" "Rio's a good time!" "Can't a girl just have some fun?"
Rio: *grinning* See? I stand vindicated! Now y'all let me finish up, huh?
*Still grinning, he made a big show of the newspaper.*
Rio: Aright--now it says here we gotta problem with MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCES. The 100? *shakes his head* No big mystery there, I'm thinkin'. Y'all remember good old Blasko? Used to strut around while his people worked their asses off cleaning up alleys and playgrounds? I gotta feelin' the guy was buckin' for mayor or sumpin. Nuh-uh-uh, we don't play that in Fort River. WE the ones who got shed of the Brotherhood and the Anti-kids, fer cryin out loud. A punked out tribe like the 100? No way is one tribe takin' over our lives ever again! FORT RIVER RULES!
*Rio let the mic drop to the stage as he raised both fists in the air and repeated Fort River Rules! while the crowd cheered.*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: The sketch at left is a rendering of the character "Rio" by another of our players (a great & talented friend from Utah), based on the character description. We have a few of these on file in the game, and it's always useful to get a visual of what the characters look like.
-Chyna
Photo source: copyright Cloud-9 "The Tribe"
Sketch courtesy of "Keep The Dream Alive" role-playing game.
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