Stormy weather

I'm in a bitchy mood.

Maybe it's the ongoing stormy weather making me itchy. Maybe it's my closer-than-usual proximity to Mr. Bush who's in town to throw out the first pitch for opening day. Could be the result of having friends essentially blow me off for the past week.

Whatever it is, I don't like feeling this way.

One friend tells me, "Use it in the game." Use it, yeah. Probably why most of my characters right now are either getting drunk, picking fights or bailing. Another friend reminds me that I am indeed the sister of chaos and "Chaos rules!" Problem is, that chaos is supposed to be done unto others--not internal.

I guess all of this begs the question: can bitchyness be a creative force? Don't think anyone I know has done a thesis on that one. Would be an interesting subject, except for the fact you'd actually have to deal -- real-time -- with people in black moods like this. And then you have to figure out if that kind of intense creativity is worth it. Is this what they mean when the critics talk about "dark talents" & creative types ultimately losing their grip? Damn.

Should probably follow my standard m.o., stay outa sight until this thing passes. Post quietly when no one's around, let my characters reflect all this moodiness. At least inside the game it all comes off as "pretend" and, yeah, creative crazies. That could work.

Should probably remind myself what I tell others: "This too shall pass." Just wish it'd hurry & get the hell over with.

--Chyna
Photo source: copyright Renaissance Pictures, "Xena Warrior Princess"